Creating Peace of Mind
Thinking about any painful event, no matter how long ago–three minutes or thirty yearsyou are continuing to hang onto nothing more than a shadow of what once wasit is merely history.
The catch is that these thoughtsthese shadows of experiences gone byseem to have a life of their own. However, the life they seem to have is being created by you. You are carrying a full complement of thoughts that create emotional baggagethe still-smoldering stuff of what you went through the first time the event transpired. To see the truth of this inner dynamic is the first step you need to take to learn to walk away fromthe useless suffering that wrecks your life, a step that brings you to the essential point of creating freedom from unhappiness.
Whatever the cause, on any given day when life’s wheels take a negative turn or one’s memories go back around to relive a no-win situation or unpleasant event, the pain you feel coursing through you is real in itself, but the actual cause of this suffering is a lie. How can this be? You might ask.
Let’s take a look. One simple question answers this mystery if you will dare answer it as honestly as you know how: If it weren’t for something within me wanting to revisit these painful old imagesto recall their familiar old pangsthen would I go where this torment is? Of course, the answer is no! Which prompts the next important question: What is it in my present thoughts, compelling me to revisit these shadowy scenes and relive the suffering stored in them?
You can find the answer to this question when you look at how you habitually react to any form of psychological pain that comes into your awareness. People want to make the pain go away by looking for the reason it appeared in the first place. But as you discover in your usual behavior, there is a part of your unconscious suffering that you seem to repeat again and again. Here’s why: You are convinced that if you wish to escape your painful state you need to somehow find a way to resolve it. Such as: The situation needs to be changed somehow. The irony is, of course, the past can’t be changed. Or you want the other person to change. This leaves you with no choice other than to revisit again and again the same unhappy images that gave rise to your pain in the first place! This is a vicious circle! This is not unlike getting frightened by a scary scene in a horror movie and then closing your eyes in the hopes of escaping the fear you feel from what you saw. The more you resist this or any negative image, the more definitively it presses itself into your mind’s eye.
You now know that this pain, along with those unconscious parts of yourself that have always jumped to answer it, is little more than an echo of a time long gone. As such, you also know how to answer these recurring aches with the only response powerful enough to dissolve them completely. You meet them with your understanding that the memory no longer has the power to torment you as they have in the past.
You are now ready for the next step in learning how to release all that you reacted to with fear or sadness. Your awareness has spiritually prepared you for the next important lesson. You need to be vigilant in listening to what you tell yourself about your experiences. You need to muster the courage to consciously ask the question, “How can I see this experience differently?” Even though your usual feelings are powerfully working to convince you that what you feel is true and the only way to react, you need to diligently see the situation from a different angle, thereby creating a different experience. You have no doubt noticed that a friend or acquaintance reacts to situations different than you. This is the proof the way the situation is experienced has a multitude of reactions. Therefore, you too can react differently if you diligently choose to do so.
Thanks to higher understanding you now know you have a choice. To help summarize this lesson in letting go, a special short poem entitled: “Ten Words With the Power to Help You Walk Away From Useless Suffering.”
The “feel” is real,
But the “why” is a lie!
Or put another way: FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real
Allow this liberating insight into the secret nature of unhappy feelings become a part of you. Apply its wisdom to any moment when you begin to create a negative experience in your mind. You can watch yourself make even the most stubborn sufferings disappear, instead of creating a drama of pain and suffering.
Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD author and international speaker specializes in: Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Physical/Sexual Abuse Recovery. As an inspirational leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life’s challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net
